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Self Empowerment – 10 Guideposts to Live By

Self empowerment is recognizing that within each of us is the capacity and ability to live from our natural state of being. The main characteristic of this state is peace. Simply put, ‘your power is in your peace.’

self empowerment
Creating The Bridge To Self Empowerment

After many years of assisting hundreds of individuals as Life Coaches and Relationship Coaches, we have been able to identify what we feel are the ten essential guideposts or pillars to successfully achieving self empowerment.

Understand, that these guideposts are not steps to self empowerment. They are more like a checklist of requirements that you want to fulfill and complete to become empowered. There is no specific order for which to apply them. In fact, they can be processes you use together, simultaneously or separately, one at a time.

We call these ten aspects or attributes of self empowerment ‘guideposts’ because self empowerment is a process. Each guidepost allows you to know if you are living from a position of empowerment. In other words, whether or not you are at peace.

So here they are. They are in no specific order. Apply each of them as tools and applications to create a greater sense of empowerment in your life. By mastering these guideposts, through your willingness to change, we guarantee that you will witness both subtle and extreme shifts in your life situations and conditions, as well as in your internal state of consciousness.

Guidepost #1: Recognition
Recognition is about seeing ‘to who, what, when and where you give your power away to.’ You may give it to other people, to situations and experiences or all of the above. It means you are giving external factors permission to control your emotional well-being. Once you recognize your participation in this disempowering process you can begin to break the cycle.

Recognition is also about seeing the talents and gifts you possess. If you are waiting for the world to recognize you, you may be waiting a very long time. You possess within you unique qualities and attributes that can guide you to feel empowered. Recognize them now!

Guidepost #2: Awareness
Awareness is similar to recognition, yet it goes a little deeper. Awareness is the acknowledgment that you do disengage and disconnect from the power within you. It is also about defining why you disempower yourself in the first place.

Most important, the guidepost of awareness is about knowing that it is quite possible to take your power back at any time you decide to do so.

Guidepost #3: Responsibility
To become empowered, it is imperative that you know exactly who and what you are responsible for in your life. When you do not know this parameter you are likely to live life as a guilt-ridden victim of circumstances. First and foremost, take responsibility for you own life and begin to feel more empowered. For a more detailed explanation on responsibility see our blog on this subject.

Guidepost #4: Releasing the Past
Self empowerment, which is inner peace, can only happen in the present moment or ‘now’. When you hold grudges, criticize, judge and have a long list of regrets laced with guilt, you can never be at peace. Depression is the number one symptom of someone living in the past. Be open to letting go and forgiving. If you are challenged doing this on your own, team up with a professional who has been through the process and can assist you.

Guidepost #5: Releasing Worry About the Future
Where the future and self empowerment meet is a fine line in the sand. As Life Coaches and Spiritual Teachers, here is how Chris and I see the future: you can plan for it; however, you must be open to giving up attempting to control it. Life, and what tomorrow brings you, is and always will be a mystery. Accept this truth; otherwise, you will continue to be stressed, anxious and fearful of tomorrow. Surrender to what is ‘now’ and what is yet to be. Life requires risk-taking. Be open to flying with the eagle and not walking with the turkeys.

Guidepost #6: Trust
Trust is a guidepost that moves you into the role of being a decision-maker for you and your life. Be willing to make choices and stand by them. If you do not like the results, make different choices. Trust is about having faith in the process. The process of life is always about creativity, expansion and who you are becoming. When you trust, you become more of who you authentically are. With trust you become grounded and empowered.

Guidepost #7: Cultivate a New Mindset
Cultivating a new mindset is about your willingness to grow and expand as a human being. Observe your current, dominant thoughts, beliefs and habits. Do they serve you in a positive manner or do they keep you stuck? Cultivating a new mindset is also about acknowledging that you can control your mind and that it does not have to be the other way around. In our seminars and coaching sessions, we share a variety of mindset changing techniques that can move anyone toward a state of well-being and self-empowerment.

Guidepost #8: Share Your Greatness
We have concluded that the process of Life goes beyond giving and receiving. It is all about sharing. If you are withholding your gifts and talents from the world and yourself, then you are preventing you from experiencing inner peace. Greatness is an active state that requires expression. Share your greatness! See greatness in others! Allow them to share with you.

Guidepost #9: Live in Alignment with Truth
Most people live their life aligned to the myth that ‘putting myself first is selfish and self-centered.’ As Life Coaches, we say, as long as you don’t put you first you will never live in alignment with your truth and subsequently never be self-empowered. If you treat yourself like a second class citizen, how could you ever expect anyone else to treat you differently! Putting yourself first does not include doing so at the expense or harm of another person. It is about leading by example and doing what makes your heart sing.

Guidepost #10: Forgiveness
All the guideposts we have listed are essential measuring sticks for inner peace and self-empowerment. If one guidepost was to standout above and beyond all the others in significance it would have to be forgiveness. Without real forgiveness, real peace remains elusive.

Real forgiveness is about forgiving others. More so, it is about forgiving yourself. Each of the first nine guideposts must contain a component of real forgiveness within them to activate the state of self empowerment. That is why Chris and I call them guideposts and that is why we say they can be practiced simultaneously or in any order you choose.

The purpose of these guideposts is to assist you to live an empowered life. Remember, self-empowerment is about knowing you never lost or could lose your power. You may have simply convinced yourself that you are powerless and that your happiness and peace resides elsewhere in some future universe or dimension.

In our practice, we have witnessed radical shifts in individuals when they have followed the ‘Ten Guideposts to Self-Empowerment.’ We challenge you to print this blog and commit to following at least one guidepost today.

self empowerment

self empowerment

self empowerment

How To Heal From The Emotional Wounds Of Bullying | how to deal with bullying

how to deal with bullying
How To Deal With Bullying

Bullying has become a hot topic of conversation recently which has prompted us to create a post on how to deal with bullying. We have witnessed through the details of various news stories what it can do to people and how it can literally destroy lives. Interestingly enough, there hasn’t been a lot of talk that bullying has been a predisposition for the human experience as far back as recorded history began. Individuals have bullied other individuals, groups and tribes have bullied other groups and tribes. On a larger scale, kingdoms and nations have been bullying other nations for the last 3,000 years.

So, the one question we may want to ask is : ‘why the sudden interest in bullying in our schools specifically and our world at large?’ The answer is that on a deeper, spiritual level, bullying has gained attention because we as a society are beginning to realize that it does not have a place in our evolution as humans if we truly want to survive and co-exist.

How To Deal With Bullying Step 1: Take a moment and examine where you see bullying in your world. The ability to recognize bullying will help you develop methods on how to deal with bullying. Most of us have witnessed bullying as children in school, in the playground or on the streets of the town or city we live in. Bullying also exists in so-called intimate relationships between two adults. It is prevalent between parent and child as well. Less talked about is bullying in the workplace by superiors, co-workers and business competitors. We are well taught that bullying gets successful results and if we want to make it in this world, we have to crush the competition.

Until recently, bullying had been considered acceptable behavior. Not so anymore! Now that we know it’s not acceptable behavior, it’s important we take to time to learn how to deal with bullying. Whatever the ramifications have been from bullying throughout history, some form of justification of this behavior has always found its way into the mainstream and became the norm. We have arrived at a place in history where we are awakening to the realization that the way we were taught to survive in this world can no longer stand up to the test of time. In fact, time may be running out if we do not commit to making changes personally, nationally and globally.

On any level, bullying is about control. It is about the bully making him or herself feeling better emotionally at the expense of another person. Bullies pride themselves on using fear as their trump card. Fear is the basis of control: intimidation; the need to be right; and the desire to feel worthy and accepted. The truth is that bullies need to bully because they feel so bad about themselves. Bullying at its deepest, purely spiritual level, is a cry for love, forgiveness and compassion.

How To Deal With Bullying Step 2: This may be difficult to accept when you are the victim of bullying at its most malicious. We have recently witnessed how extreme the maliciousness can be. Typically, as a victim of bullying, most of us are only thinking about how we can avoid being bullied, how we can stop it, and even how we can achieve retribution and revenge.

In my life I have been both the bully and bullied. I have experienced both perspectives, both ends of this painful stick. As a Life Coach, Relationship Coach and Business Coach, I have witnessed countless interactions involving bullying between individuals, family members, businesses and corporations. In order to end bullying as a commonplace occurrence in our world we have to know why it occurs in the first place. You cannot eliminate any disease, either physical or emotional, without knowing its origin or cause.

Bullying is a signal that emotional pain is dominant. To move forward, we must understand that both bully and victim hold some sort of emotional pain that is inextricably linked. They have more in common with each other than meets the eye. Both feel insecure, unworthy and fearful that life will let them down. One reacts, the other retreats. One needs to defend, the other feels utterly defenseless. It is an unusual partnership to say the least. Yet, in my personal and professional experience it sets the stage for positive change and growth.

In order to move beyond the roles of bully and victim we must commit to heal. As someone who has personally healed (and is still going through the process), and as a conduit who assists others to do the same, I firmly believe that it is important for us to continue to focus on this subject. Healing holds the key to understanding what is required of us as human beings both individually and as a collective to create true inner peace. A world of beings who feel and live through inner peace cannot act out the roles of bully and bullied. When each of us makes a commitment to emotionally heal and acknowledge that we spend most of our waking moments in emotional pain, then and only then will we find true fulfillment from life.

Personally and professionally, I am excited to see the subject of bullying receiving media attention. A heightened awareness factor is the first step toward positive change, another key in our efforts concerning how to deal with bullying. With your participation and mine, we can each contribute creating a world where feeling good about ourselves doesn’t have to be at the expense of another person. Start and end with yourself and lead by example. If you find you cannot release emotional pain on your own, seek professional assistance and guidance. If you are a bully and continue to use bullying tactics to get what you want, you will never feel peace and happiness. Likewise, if you continue to be the recipient of bullying, you too, will never feel peace and happiness. The time to heal and create change is now. Let us know how you feel, what your thoughts are and how we can help.

Have you read our other article about: Bullying: 7 Ways to End it Now!

how to deal with bullying

how to deal with bullying

how to deal with bullying