Tag Archives: emotional healing

Discovering Your Greatness

Discovering Your Greatness
Discovering Your Greatness
In her classic book, “Dare to Be Great,” New York Times Best-Selling author and interfaith minister Terry Cole-Whittaker says, to be great means we become “the most fully actualized people we can possibly be and do whatever we can to uplift and improve society with our talents, products, services and projects.” She goes on to write that “intelligence is meant to be used intelligently to raise ourselves to the highest point possible and to help others do the same.”

We are all pressured at one time or another to keep up with the crowd, fit in, to be accepted and acceptable. This is a safe haven where we live a life of mediocrity, predictability, inertia and ultimately inauthenticity. When we play safe, we cannot be great, nor can we be real.

Chris and I witnessed greatness this weekend at our Break Through to the True You Retreat. We witnessed it in relationships, people emotionally lifting other people, as well as confronting each other so they could rise above their story lines and finally see the truth about their greatness.

At this retreat, Chris and I came together with a special group of individuals to assist them to break through the blocks and barriers that were preventing them from seeing their own greatness. In just two days, because of the courage they had, these blocks and barriers were dismantled. They are not only on the path of greatness; they are living examples of it, because they all have courage.

They have the courage to say “yes” to life and “no” to the stories of their pasts. The courage to be open and willing to explore the possibilities that tomorrow may bring and being okay with living in the mystery that the future holds for each of us. They each invested in themselves. Financially, yet more important with courage, because courage is the price we pay at the door for greatness.

At our weekend retreat, our intent is to always hold a safe space for participants. That is where safety ends. The intention is to create an environment where we can each soar. No mediocrity, completely unpredictable, lots of swirling positive energy and lots of authenticity.

Yes, to be great requires courage. We all have it. The question is why don’t most people use it?

Responsibility comes to mind as the best answer for this question. We have found that if there is an unwillingness to take responsibility for one’s life, then greatness is elusive. To fully experience life we all must take responsibility and this requires courage.

Chris and I witnessed courage this weekend. Courage creates amazing outcomes. It is the willingness to embrace perfect health and release a cancer. It is about being open to allowing unconditional love to enter your life so you can truly love yourself and others. Courage is also the decision to see life situations differently and allow the power of forgiveness to heal all wounds and create miracles. Courage is about making the shift from living in impossibilities to knowing that anything is possible.

We spent two days together. None of us were or are more special than anyone else. Yet, each one of us is special in that we possess a uniqueness; an individuality that dissolves all mediocrity and conformity. Used courageously, that individuality can and does create great things in the world.

I see greatness in everyone Chris and I spent time with this past weekend. They, like you, are special to the world. Within all of us is the potential for greatness. Potentiality is energy and energy can be transmuted. You and I are energy. We can all transmute into greatness.

Chris and I are so joyous and yet humbled by the comments and afterthoughts from those who shared their lives and time with us this past weekend.

We would like to share some of these comments with you so they may inspire you to have the courage to, as Terry Cole-Whittaker wrote, “Dare to Be Great.”

“I learned to live my life more authentically, joyfully and daringly!”

“I feel that inner peace and thriving are possible.”

“I finally give myself permission to move forward spiritually and emotionally so that I can be who I am truly meant to be.”

“I finally realized that I am loveable and worthy of love.”

“I feel so relaxed and peaceful. Nothing seems to bother me anymore.”

Courageous comments! Seeds of greatness! Declarations for being unstoppable no matter what! Awesome stuff!

Do you want to get on the list for the next upcoming Break Through to the True You Weekend Retreat? Seats fill up fast. Learn more here: www.TrueYouWeekend.com



In God We Trust

In God We Trust. These are the words inscribed on American currency. Our forefathers knew something special, spiritual and perhaps mystical when they adopted these words. Have we forgotten what they knew? Have we decided to live our lives by standards that lack trust in God and in any creative power including ourselves?

In God We Trust
In God We Trust
I believe we, as a people, have turned our backs on God. When I speak of and write the word ‘God’ I specifically am referring to the Power that is in all including you and me. If you know, as I do, that God lives in each of us, then the question to ask is “If we don’t trust God, are we simply not trusting ourselves?”

I believe that this one question defines in totality for us all, the purpose of our human experience. Yes, to trust God is to trust our Self. Trust, which is an aspect of faith, is also found in the power of unconditional love. Therefore, to trust ourselves means to have faith in our Godliness, which is the power of unconditional love.

For decades I grappled with God. As a teen, I felt God ‘lost my file.’ He had somehow forgotten me. I felt lost among the masses of the billions of others he had forsaken, too.

Later, I doubted his existence. After that I got really pissed off at him. I tried every which way to turn my life into the way I thought it ‘should be.’
Then, one day, I realized that I had exhausted every plan to control my world and have it be the way I wanted it to be. The result, however, was always a no-win situation. There was no one or no thing that could give me what I wanted more than anything else. You see, the realization for me, which was my awakening, was that all I ever wanted was the Peace of God.

When I ran out of ‘human options’ I turned my life over to Him/Her. Put another way, I turned my life over to that part of me that is changeless and eternal. That part of me that knows no fear, no disease and no death.

All I did was to make the decision FOR God. I will share with you that when I did this, it became extremely liberating emotionally, mentally and physically.

From that moment my life became simplified. My life flowed with ease. I had two goals from that point forward: to experience the Peace of God and to be of service to the world in some capacity.

No more doubt! No more drama! No more strategic planning! I gave my spiritual Self permission to run the show called ‘My Life.’ My human, socially conditioned, follow –the-herd little self, now has only one function: to navigate, to be the vehicle, the body, that transports the ‘In God I Trust’ me from one moment to the next.

So how did I move from turning my back on God to allowing the Power that is God use me as a vessel? I really didn’t ‘do’ anything. Looking back it was my willingness to let go of a long list of fear-based attributes, beliefs and behaviors that caused me to suffer and return home to who I and you truly are at our core.

Here’s the ‘short list’ of what it was that I let go of. Imagine we are like onions and each layer is an aspect of fear we want to remove and discard. Removing and discarding fear. For me, and perhaps you, too, it was fear of:
1. Trusting God
2. Loving myself and my life
3. Loving other people
4. Letting the world see the true me
5. Feeling joy (which is feeling the God Power)
6. Living in the mystery
7. My greatness

Look at my list. Read my list over and over about what I was fearful of for way too long. What a paradox! That which I feared most, was really what I was seeking all along!

Trusting God. Loving myself and my life unconditionally. Loving other people unconditionally. Being authentic. Feeling joy. Living in the mystery. Acknowledging my greatness. It’s a process. Be patient. Have faith. This works!

To live by the words ‘In God We Trust’ requires each of us to make the decision ‘In God I Trust.’

My wish for you is that you make the decision I did and live by these words! If you haven’t done so already, I trust you will! Peace!

Chris and I are offering you a gift. It’s a free download of our Special Report:Breaking The Chain of Pain -Freeing Yourself From The Negativity of Your Past! This is our way of saying thank you for visiting our blog!



The Process of Emotional Healing

Healing Is A Process

During the early years of my career as a Life Coach and Emotional Healer, I was perplexed by the realization that some people emotionally heal and others don’t.  After consulting with hundreds of clients, I noticed there are distinct differences between the people who emotionally heal and those who don’t.  The ones that heal have followed through with all of the steps that I define as the Emotional Healing Process.

Over thirty years ago, I took a college course that dealt with death and dieing and the work of Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross.  Dr. Kubler-Ross was a pioneer in the support and counseling of trauma, grief and grieving associated with death and dieing.  However, I realized that grieving can also be about grieving for the life we thought we should have lived or for the childhood we never had.

Life has the uncanny knack of coming around full circle when her ideas came back in to my life a few years ago.  I once again came across her model for the stages of grief.  I at once realized that this model and the stages of grief it describes are transferable and applicable to the process of emotional healing of any kind.  In other words, it can be used during the process of creating personal change and transformation and the ultimate achievement of inner peace.  Chris and I have adopted the model using  the concepts in that model and enhancing it to develop The Possibility Coaches’ Model for Emotional Healing.

The stages of the grief model are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. The additional stage that Chris and I have added is forgiveness.

Clients who have followed and experienced the six stages of  The Possibility Coaches’ Model for Emotional Healing are the ones who have truly emotionally healed. These individuals are confronted with traumas of a less severe nature than the experience of  death and bereavement.  Some examples are relationship breakups, job loss, an illness, financial despair, etc.  The most frequent challenge we see people face is the grieving for the life ‘I thought I should be living.’

As Life Coaches, this model became a worthy study and reference guide beyond death and dieing.  The Possibility Coaches’ Model for Emotional Healing and its six stages, represent a ‘change model’ for assisting us to understand, deal with, and coach individuals and their reaction to the seemingly traumatic events and situations that occur in their lives.

Trauma and emotional pain are relative in terms of affect on people.  While death and dieing may be the ultimate trauma, people can and do experience similar upsets when dealing with many of life’s challenges.  This is especially true if confronting something difficult for the first time.

One person’s despair is to another person a non-threatening event.  Emotional response and trauma must be viewed in relative, not absolute terms.  The model recognizes that each of us has to go through his or her individual journey.

By applying the five original stages and adding a sixth and final stage of forgiveness, the process of emotional healing can begin.  The result is a state of inner peace and it is inner peace that we all seek.  By going through the six stages, and meeting the requirements for emotional healing I listed earlier, your life literally transforms and your authentic Self emerges.

Let’s look in depth at the six stages that lead us to emotional healing. Once again, the stages are 1. denial, 2. anger, 3. bargaining, 4. depression, 5. acceptance, 6. forgiveness. These stages do not necessarily occur in sequential order with one exception: forgiveness.  It is important to release your denial, anger and depression before you forgive.  If you forgive too soon i.e. before you release your anger, then you will lock in your anger and it will be a false, conditional form of forgiveness.  Once you have experienced the process of authentic forgiveness, you will then move towards inner peace.

Notice as you move toward a more inner peaceful existence there will be overlapping of emotions and feelings.  You may even feel at times like you are actually moving backwards and regressing to old behavior patterns.  Understand, this is exactly what personal growth and transformation are all about.

Here is a brief definition and description of each stage:

1. The Denial Stage: Denial is a conscious or unconscious refusal to acknowledge and accept ‘what is.’  It is a defense mechanism.  Some people spend their entire lives in denial.  The result is staying stuck in relationships and situations that are unsatisfying and anything less than gratifying.

2. The Anger Stage: Anger can manifest in a variety of ways.  It can be outward toward other people like rage, or inward toward ourselves resulting in isolation and negative emotions.  It is important to acknowledge your anger.  It is more important to be willing to let it go!

3. The Bargaining Stage:  Bargaining never provides a sustainable solution.  We bargain or seek a compromise when fear gets the best of us.  This is when we sabotage progress and success in our lives and in our quest for inner peace.

4. The Depression Stage:  The title of this stage is deceiving because it is truly an indicator that you are beginning to accept, with emotional attachment, your past and your present.  At this point, you may feel sadness, regret, remorse, fear and uncertainty.  You have begun to release and remove the barriers and blocks to peace.

5. The Acceptance Stage:  This stage indicates that you have emotionally detached yourself from your past and its regrets, the present and what are your current circumstances and the future, with all that is yet to be.  By accepting ‘what is’ you begin to take inspired action and see people and the world very differently.

6. The Forgiveness Stage:  Experiencing forgiveness inherently means you are experiencing inner peace.  Forgiveness does not mean you condone someone’s inappropriate behavior or stay in an unhealthy situation or relationship. Forgiveness is an act you do for yourself to set yourself free!  Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been different.  When you are able to finally see people for who they truly are and not for who they appear to be, what they said or what they did or didn’t do, you have awakened to live life in your natural state.  You realize that we are all on the same journey.

This process of achieving inner peace through forgiveness is a very powerful process. If you doubt or do not know your life’s purpose, committing to The Emotional Healing Process will bring you true clarity of purpose.

Time is not your healer.  You are! Scary? At times, yes; however, consider the alternative.  I bless every moment of my life experience, be it ‘good’ or ‘bad.’  It has all brought me to where I am right here and right now in this very moment.  Decide for inner peace now!

Our gift to you. Download your copy of Breaking The Chain of Emotional Pain here: http://www.possibilitycoaches.net/pain/