We’re going to talk about true love, but not necessarily in a way you may think! Visualize a horse with a carrot dangling about a foot in front of it. That’s how we get the horse to move in a forward direction.
Now imagine that you are that horse (no insult intended) and the carrot represents love in all its various forms. Like the horse in pursuit of the carrot, this is how most of us pursue love. We convince ourselves that once we are given love by another person our life is complete. We believe that the emotional void will disappear and be filled by a proclamation of love from someone else.
This belief, that another person can make us happy, is central to the mythology of romantic love. Romantic love, for the most part is simply a composite of sexual attraction. The balance of it tends to be made up of neediness: the need to be wanted, accepted and appreciated. The problem here is that when we do not have our own ‘needs’ met, romantic love quickly fizzles out.
Now don’t get us wrong, we’re all for romantic love and great sex! This modern notion of true love is a result of us being conditioned to find true love to be happy. However, this idea about romantic love is flawed simply because most of us do not understand what true love is all about. True love is changeless and absolute. On the other hand, romantic love can literally blow with the wind. Just look at the terms “falling in love” and “falling out of love.” The implication here is that there is something temporary about love and ‘fall’ becomes the operative word. If we can finally understand and dispel this myth, we would all begin to experience stronger, more loving relationships.
“Falling in love” does not exist because it implies there are varying degrees of love. Love cannot be measured, although most people spend a lifetime in pursuit of it with a measuring stick. Again, love is absolute. Either it is present in your relationships or it isn’t.
Experiencing stronger and truly loving relationships has one requirement: to love yourself. We are not referring to being narcissistic or egotistical here. We are talking about treating yourself in the only way you were intended to be treated: divinely, without conditions, rules or regulations. When you experience self-love you ultimately treat others the same way.
Think about it: if you do not love yourself, how could you truly love another person? You simply cannot give away what you do not have!
What we are suggesting may seem ridiculous, far-fetched and impossible to achieve. To this we respond: you can experience true love for yourself and everyone else in your life when you are open and willing to release and remove all the emotional blocks and barriers to love (which are all fears).
This requires you to go through a process of looking within. Scary at first, perhaps, but rest assured, you will be happy with the end result! We have a 4-step process to get you there. They occur in no particular order, and in fact are more likely to occur simultaneously and ongoing as you begin to unveil the secret to experiencing strong and loving relationships.
These 4 steps are:
1. self-awareness of love or its absence in your life.
2. self-acceptance so you can move to loving unconditionally.
3. self-forgiveness for all that you have done to deny loving yourself and others.
4. self-love: also known as ‘the real deal.’
Follow this process. Stop chasing the carrot. Come alive by experiencing self-love. It’s the only way to truly experience loving relationships, because after all, there is only one real relationship.
Begin to experience real love in your life by downloading your free copy of our Special Report: Breaking The Chain of Emotional Pain – Healing The Emotional Wounds From Your Past.
If you are you ready to improve all of your relationships including the one you have with yourself? Contact us for a complimentary, no obligation coaching session.
©Possibility Coaches, LLC