Tag Archives: happiness

How Millennials Can Find Freedom Within Their Circumstances

April 18, 2019 PossCoach Leave a comment

Many of the Millennials who come to us for assistance are fighting battles with a very familiar common enemy: anxiety and economic instability.

The young people seeking our coaching tend to fall into two camps. The majority, perhaps 60%, feel lost and untethered. They are crushed under college debt, they want but don’t yet have a house or a family, and they work hard jobs but haven’t broken into their careers. The other group has means with a job at a great salary, who can buy a home and start a family if they choose, but it comes with the high price of NEVER being able to take a breath. These people are going 24/7, and they are full of chaos and overwhelmed with anxiety. Some of them are amassing huge amounts of credit card debt to keep up with the Joneses and live the life they were told they should achieve in order to be considered complete.

Both of these people have something in common, and in fact they have it in common with many people across different generations as well: they are being held hostage to what the world has told them is important and worthwhile, and their internal measures of worth are being stifled in the process.

Homeownership is a common thread among Millennials right now, who have largely graduated college and been in the workforce for a while, and are looking to move to the next stages of their life. Many Millennials want to be homeowners, and yet an unprecedentedly large number of them are not compared to their parent’s generation. There are many interconnected reasons for this, but a big one is this:

Millennials were born into a very, very different economic reality than their parents were. Both the economy and the housing market have drastically changed in a few short decades.

Not all that long ago, it was common to afford a college degree as a middle class student with no debt, to easily find some kind of job immediately upon graduation, and to retire with a pension. People born into those circumstances were indeed buying houses by the time they were 30 years old. But as many of you know, those are not the circumstances of today. Mix in a poor job market with little opportunity for new workers, vanishing benefits, and an unfavorable housing market, and it is little wonder that fewer 30 year olds are buying houses than ever. It would be astonishing if they were. The situation may sometimes feel grim, but it is far from hopeless–here’s why.

Once while in Maine, we had a very interesting conversation with some French Canadians on vacation. They were sharing their surprise at the American emphasis on homeownership. They were very confused about why so many people would want to take on the cost and responsibility of managing a piece of property. According to them, they preferred to rent, and have the freedom to go on vacations and have nice dinners. For them, renting was a lifestyle choice that they were happy to make, not a great failure or proof of a hopeless financial situation.

This conversation was fascinating because it reminded us once again about a very basic truth — you can find happiness, success, and self-actualization in any circumstance. To do so, you must first let go of the outside expectations and assumptions that have been holding you back.

We’re often told by Millennial clients that “I should have a house by now” and “they say I should have $x dollars in the bank by the time I’m 30.” Who is “they”? Why is it “should”?

It may be a helpful exercise for some frustrated Millennials to contemplate why they truly want to buy a house; is it because there is truly something intrinsic to homeownership that can provide peace and meaning? Or do you want it because you have been told that you are worthless without it?

You are going to experience pain if you’re looking for a similar outcome with someone that has a different life. Millennials face different challenges and obstacles than the ones their parents faced, and there is no shame or failure in that. In fact, there are some circumstances that are unique to Millennials that hold great opportunity. For one, Millennials have helped build a more progressive and open minded society than existed before. People that were once shut out from society completely are now being acknowledged, valued, and invited to take part.

Millennials also place more emphasis on wellness and the mind-body connection than their predecessors did, and as a result, they are living healthier and more balanced lives for it.

Another recent opportunity is that the path to entrepreneurship is more available now than ever before–tools like Skype and Zoom that have only existed for about a decade make it possible to work from anywhere, and to start a business from home. Many Millennials are taking full advantage of their unique connectedness and adventurous spirit to build thriving online businesses. In our experience, this generation is very grounded, socially compassionate, and interested in caring for and protecting other human beings. They are more connected to the environment, and they want the political policy to care about all people. This makes them incredible agents for change.

Far from being the generation with the least opportunities, Millennials have some incredible gifts and opportune circumstances that they can use to build meaningful, complete lives. To do this, each person must decide for themselves what is important to them. Put another way, a quote from Albert Einstein states: “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” The question we have for you at this point of our journey together is, “What is your genius?”

What, indeed, is your genius? What are your talents and natural gifts that are not currently being tapped into? What are your interests? What are your passions? What change do you want to see in the world? You want to decide what’s important to you, not what the world tells you is important.

Sometimes, the way to move forward is by accepting what “is” right now. Accepting a circumstance is a very different thing from being resigned to that circumstance. When you resign yourself to a bad situation, you pull in anger and resentment. As a result, you close yourself off and aren’t capable of seeing the solutions that may already be available to you. When you accept a situation, you grant yourself the inner peace you need to work on changing it. When you are motivated by anger and fear, you don’t get the results you want. If you’re willing to accept what is, you begin to be motivated by optimism and the belief that things can change and we can solve problems. Whatever you focus on tends to expand. When we focus on the problems in our life, we get more problems. When we focus on solutions, we teach ourselves to find them.

What outside expectations have been holding you back? And what dreams are waiting to pull you forward? Contact us for a no obligation no cost coaching session and we will assist you to uncover the answers to these two questions.

We also invite you to download Eight Tools for Creating Success and Happiness in Your Life as our free gift to you.

Jon Satin and Chris Pattay – The Possibility Coaches™
©2019 Possibility Coaches, LLC

Business and Success, Life and Relationships

How Do You Measure Success?

November 29, 2016 PossCoach Leave a comment

How do you measure success? What are your parameters? Do you focus solely on your finances, status and getting and having “things?”

If you do, then it is likely you spend much of the time feeling stressed, disappointed and anxious. Perhaps it is time to experience a life that is more balanced and harmonious?

By believing in, and placing our faith in the commonly accepted version of success, we are bound to suffer. Success defined by money, status and materialism places happiness outside ourselves. This continuously puts us at the mercy of hoping that we will get what we want so we can finally be happy. When we don’t, unhappiness, disappointment and despair become the normal and dominant emotions we experience.

We can also suffer when we tend to live our lives based on the parameters set by others. The result is an eventual disconnection with our authentic identity. It is this authentic self that defines success for each of us. It is more than likely that no one ever asked you, or recommended to you, to define success for yourself. Left to your own devices, you may have simply “followed the herd” or “threw in the towel,” or still trying to figure it all out. When we live our lives by the rules and devices set down and invented by other people, we suffer.

So few of us will ever achieve this kind of programmed success for a variety of reasons. First, by the time most of us reach adulthood our sense of self-worth tends to be at low levels because we have been meticulously brainwashed to strive for a level of success that seems unreachable and unattainable. We are told to ‘do your best.’

By the way, has anyone ever defined ‘the best?’ It is the longest running mystery in man’s history. Hint: There is no way to define “the best.” The best does not exist. It is an objective abstraction based solely on individual opinion of constructed in the mind.

It is also highly likely we have spent much of our formative years with individuals (namely our family members) who are already disenchanted and tarnished by the so-called inequities and injustices of life. The message here is ‘life isn’t easy, let alone fair.’ From these perspectives, success becomes some far-off destination not likely to ever be reached. The chance of achieving success with this model is slim to none and results in disappointment for most.

The two of us were fortunate enough to awaken to the possibility that the so-called way to achieving success and the symbols of success were not necessarily success at all. On many occasions, for example, we have coached clients who seem ‘to have it all,’ yet at the deepest emotional and spiritual levels, feel truly unsuccessful, as well as unworthy, undeserving and inauthentic.

Years ago we developed a new model of success, incorporating other areas of your life where you can be successful such as having good health or a loving relationship. Our model suggests that success is a process and not a payoff. More so, it is a state of consciousness: success is emotional!
By shifting success from a payoff to a process, we have witnessed real transformations of individuals who committed to what we call ‘the process of creating success from the inside-out.’

When we feel successful first we are able to define success on our own terms. Success becomes a state of being. Feeling successful becomes your dominant emotion. When you feel this emotion you will truly wonder where it has been hiding all these years.

Here are some ways to get you started with creating your own personal internal blueprint for feeling successful:

Know your intentions! To feel successful and receive what you want requires the use of the power of intention. Behind each and every intention, clarity, discipline, resolve, commitment and an action plan must be present in order to achieve what it is you desire. Your intentions are the fuel that energizes the process of achieving results. Know your intentions!

Truly successful people focus on what they want, rather than what they don’t want. What you focus on expands, so consciously be aware of who and what you give your attention to as often as possible.

To feel success is about “tricking” your mind that you already have what you want to achieve. There are a variety of techniques that allow you to do this. One way is to begin a new healthy habit of speaking in the present tense when referring to the results you want. For example, if you’re looking for a new career that you love, affirm: “I am so happy and grateful for this incredible career that I absolutely love!”

Successful people never worry about the “hows” of life. They always focus on the “whys.” The “why” is why you do what you do in life and why you want to achieve the results you say you want. This gives you clarity.

Embrace a new level of thinking that is more willing to create positive change. You can never create positive change with the same identity that creates negativity and undesired results. “Attacking” your “problems” with the same mind that created them will never get you the results you want. A quick way to initiate positive change is by asking yourself “heart-felt” questions like “What would it feel like to me to be happier and more successful in all areas of my life?”

True success is about envisioning the results you want and less about setting goals. When you can actually feel the result and re-enact it in your mind on a regular basis, your likelihood of physically experiencing it increases dramatically.

According to the late Art Linkletter, success in any life is defined as “finding what you love to do and then spending your life doing it with people you like to be with.” Can you imagine living your life with that kind of success?

Being successful and balanced requires you to nurture, treat and feed your mind and body with love and respect and becoming your own “best friend.”

Jon Satin and Chris Pattay – The Possibility Coaches™
©2016 Possibility Coaches, LLC

success

Life and Relationships

Are You On-Course?

September 16, 2016 PossCoach Leave a comment

We all possess unique natural talents and gifts. Each talent and each gift serves a purpose for higher good for us individually as well as for other people.

Too often, too many of us are not tapping into, using, or sharing the talents and gifts we possess. We call this “withholding.” At times, we have all withheld our talents and gifts either consciously or unconsciously. Sometimes we are even unaware of the talents and gifts that we possess.

When we truly have tapped into our personal resources and express and share our talents and gifts, we are “on-course.” Being “on-course” is about fulfilling one’s destiny. Being “on-course” is about being and feeling “on-purpose.”

Living life “on-course” is typified by a feeling of enthusiasm.

We feel inspired. Creativity seems effortless. As a result, we not only give joy to ourselves, but through sharing, we give joy to others.

How many lives you positively affect by expressing and sharing your gifts and talents is of no real consequence. In fact, you can, if you so choose, simply share your talents and gifts with yourself.

No matter how you express yourself, if it gives you a true sense of satisfaction and joy, then you are “on-course.”

For example, we both love to cook and to garden. This doesn’t mean we have to start a catering service or landscaping business (although they could be a possibility). It does however, demonstrate other ways, besides coaching, that we stay “on-course.” We are enthusiastic and inspired by both cooking and landscaping. The joy we feel is similar to our experiences we have when we assist you through coaching to be “on-course,” too.

So how does anyone know if he or she is “on” or “off” course in life? To figure it out is pretty simple: if you are enthusiastic about your life and its’ content, most of the time, then you are “on-course.” If, however, you are lacking enthusiasm, then you are likely to be “off-course.”

Here are some ways to get back on track and on-course in your life:

#1. Write down everything you love to do and are passionate about. Don’t worry about how good you are at “this” or “that” or your level of expertise.

#2. Now write down how you can apply these talents and gifts in ways that enrich your lives and possibly the lives of other people.

#3. Next, write down every excuse you can come up with that tells you to not express yourself through these talents and gifts. Don’t emotionalize this; just write it down.

#4. At the bottom of your “excuse” list write the following: “I now choose to believe that I can achieve whatever I desire if I follow my heart. By following my heart I will always live my life “on-course.”

#5. Return to item #2 above and select one item that resonates with you and commit now to incorporate it into your life by pursuing it enthusiastically. You have nothing to lose and quite possibly a lot of joy to gain.

Being “on-course” can rapidly change your life path and destiny. As we have said so often: “You are one decision away from changing the quality of your life!”

Are you seeking assistance with getting back on-course in your life? Contact us to explore your options.

Jon Satin and Chris Pattay – The Possibility Coaches™
©2016 Possibility Coaches, LLC

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Life and Relationships

Creating a Permission Manifesto for Happiness!

July 16, 2015 PossCoach Leave a comment

Who decides whether or not we are happy? Who decides whether or not we feel at peace with ourselves? Who decides whether or not we see ourselves as successful contributors in this world?

The answer, for each of us, to all of the above questions, is “I DO.”

We are each responsible for our own happiness, peace of mind and success. It is when we refuse to take responsibility for our happiness, peace of mind and success, we suffer emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Most people, rather than take responsibility for their life, choose to blame. They blame other people and circumstances for their unhappiness, stress and so-called failures.

Let’s face it: it’s easier to point fingers than it is to take responsibility for where we are today and where we’d like to be tomorrow.

The truth is that life happens. It is part of the human experience. It’s what we all signed up for.

The challenge most of us face is that we are trained and conditioned to focus on what’s wrong with our lives rather than what could be. As children, we hear adults whining and complaining about how bad things are, what’s wrong with other people and how life is one struggle after another.

Bad attitudes and negative mindsets are contagious. The good news, however, is good attitudes and positive mindsets are contagious, too.

There is only one thing we each have to “do” to change our attitude and mindset: create what we call a “Permission Manifesto.” A manifesto is a declaration. When we declare anything, we put it into motion and our lives begin to change.

You see, until we give ourselves permission to be happy, be at peace and experience success, they will all elude us.

A permission manifesto is like your own personal decree; like your very own Declaration of Independence.

And what are you declaring your independence from: feeling down, being stressed and anxious, the past with all of its’ regrets and resentments?

A permission manifesto is a starting point where we all begin to live our lives on our own terms. It is where we give ourselves permission to develop the qualities within us that will allow us to shine, express our talents and gifts, and live our lives with greater zest and intensity.

We have written on numerous occasions that “happiness is a decision” and that we are each one decision away from experiencing it.

By giving yourself permission to experience happiness, inner peace and success, you will literally change your genetic makeup and DNA. Don’t take our word for it: scientists are now identifying this as verifiable fact.

A permission manifesto will make you feel better, look better, do more with less effort and create an all-around positive energy field for you.

Creating a permission manifesto is easy. All that is required is deciding how you want your life to be, how you want to feel most of the time and then allowing yourself to experience what it is you desire.

To get you started, here are some generic permission manifesto statements that almost everyone would want to experience in their lives:

“I now give myself permission to be happier.”

“I now give myself permission to experience more loving relationships.”

“I now give myself permission to do what I love and love what I do.”

“I now give myself permission to experience more inner peace, calmness and serenity.”

“I now give myself permission to thrive and prosper in all areas of my life.”

These are just a few examples you can include in your personalized permission manifesto. We challenge you to create your own permission manifesto. Read it daily. Print it out and place it strategically around your home: on a bathroom mirror or the refrigerator door.

Share your permission manifesto with a friend, a mentor or someone who is uplifting and encouraging. Share it with the two of us! We’d love to hear from you!

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Life and Relationships

Make Happiness Your New Addiction

April 21, 2015 PossCoach Leave a comment

We all know someone who has an addiction: a spouse that drinks too much, an overweight child, a parent who lives on painkillers. Or a friend that shops and spends in excess and can’t seem to stop.

In our lives, we have both personally experienced a variety of addictions. The content of our past addictions is really secondary. We have each openly discussed our past in various lectures and talks, radio shows, articles and blogs so we won’t go into details here.

What’s primary is why we experienced these addictions. What caused us to seek pleasure outside ourselves? And, consider this: are these actual addictions or are these simply symptoms of one addiction that most humans suffer from?

Ask yourself, ‘Why do I seek out external pleasures that I usually regret, am remorseful about or hate myself for?’

Could the answer to this one loaded question be ‘because I am addicted to unhappiness?’

From our own personal stories, the two of us can clearly see the truth in that statement. We are all raised to some degree to believe that unhappiness is ‘normal.’

Unhappiness, which is a result of suffering, is seen as noble. We have been brainwashed to believe that playing the victim and being at the mercy of life circumstances and events, is somehow our karmic destiny. This couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Actually, the opposite is true. To be happy is our birthright. It is our natural state. Being unhappy, therefore, is unnatural. And because unhappiness is unnatural, it adversely affects our total well-being in our mind, body and spirit.

In our attempt to numb, deaden and even eliminate the feeling of unhappiness, we seek happiness outside ourselves. For some of us the pain is so intense, we choose dangerous alternatives such as drugs or alcohol. For others, it’s physical or emotional abuse or dead-end relationships that reinforce the addiction to unhappiness. And still for some, it is about sabotaging any good when it comes our way because happiness feels so alien to the ‘unhappiness addict.’

We are suggesting something of great significance here: that all your so-called ‘problems’ stem from an addiction to unhappiness. Now, we will back up for a moment and say that ‘yes, life includes suffering!’

We all suffer because we somehow cannot accept that everything and everyone, including ourselves, is temporary in nature. Life, in all its’ forms, is transient and always changing. We fear the end result which we call death. Acceptance of our temporary nature is the first step that allows us to break away from the addiction to unhappiness.

Through a variety of processes, we can each transform ourselves from being addicted to unhappiness to making happiness our new addiction.

Being happy doesn’t mean you never experience sadness. It does mean, however, you develop a greater sense of gratitude, appreciation and love for others, yourself and Life as a whole. A shift from unhappiness to happiness changes your whole life for the better. You ‘go with the flow’ so-to-speak. You rise above any situation, experience and circumstance. When you experience let-downs, allow yourself to feel sad. Grieve , if necessary. Yet, at the end of the day, realize what happened to you doesn’t define who you are.

The addiction to unhappiness takes years to develop. Through childhood, adolescence and into adulthood, we each experience suffering in a variety of ways. This is the human condition. It is inevitable and inescapable.

Yet, we each possess the power to become addicted to happiness. Like our addiction to unhappiness, this addiction will take some time to establish itself in your life.

In order for happiness to become your new norm, you must fulfill some requirements that allow you to exchange an unhealthy addiction for one that invigorates, inspires and ignites a spark of magnificence in you.

Here is a list of processes that we recommend for making happiness your new addiction:

1. Be open to being happy. Without an open mind and an open heart no one can create lasting positive change.

2. Believe that being happy is possible and can happen to you. Without belief, you cannot change your reality which includes your experiences, circumstances and situations.

3. Take full responsibility for your life. No one can truly be happy if they refuse to take charge of their own life. Being responsible is empowering and being empowered is being happy.

4. Learn how to ‘accept what is.’ Life happens! Every moment presents us with a new set of obstacles and challenges. Instead, see them as opportunities. Through acceptance, we open the door to solutions. We can then move with Life rather than being at its’ mercy.

5. Embrace the power of forgiveness. Forgiveness is the only remedy for unhappiness. Forgiveness frees us from the bondage of all our suffering inflicted upon us by others and by the suffering we inflict upon ourselves.

6. Become a living example of happiness. To experience happiness requires you to embrace it. This means being open to it, believing it has value and being responsible for the form it takes in your life. It also means you are willing to forgive, let go of the past and begin each day with a clean slate.

Right now, in this moment, you may see your life situation as a problem; an enemy of sorts. This is not the case! Consider that your one and only problem is your one and only addiction: unhappiness.

When you really ‘get’ what the two of us are saying here you are on the road to recovery! Unhappiness no more! The road to recovering your life is making happiness yours!

Are you ready to be happier? Contact us for a complementary ‘Live Your Dream Life Coaching Session.’

Jon Satin and Chris Pattay – The Possibility Coaches™
©2015 Possibility Coaches, LLC

happiness

Life and Relationships

How to Transform Your Life Into The Life You Want! | Transform Your Life

June 2, 2014 PossCoach Leave a comment

How to transform your life Into The Life You Want? When first reading the title of this article, did you think about all of the things that you would like to acquire to make your life better? Did any of these thoughts pop into your mind: buying a house, a car, finding a new job, not having a job, winning the lottery, moving out of town, starting a new relationship, or having plastic surgery? What if I said that you can change your life without any of these things, and that you will be happy? Yes, your current life. The one where you are in debt, hate your job, are addicted to one thing or another, going through a divorce, or suffering from aches and pains. Would this be possible? Would it take a miracle?

In nature, butterflies are the expert miracle transformers. Caterpillars begin their life eating leaves and twigs until they are ready to change. When ready, they hang upside down attached to a twig and spin a cocoon or molt into a shiny chrysalis. Alone within this covering, the shift takes place. The caterpillar literally digests itself releasing enzymes to dissolve all of its tissue. The only thing left is a group of cells. The wings of the butterfly form in the soupy mixture until the butterfly becomes aware that it is time to appear and start anew.

How do you transform your life like the butterfly? Metamorphosis is transformation. This can only occur when we are ready to accept the life that we are living. This is necessary if we want to create positive changes. If you are attached to your current circumstances, be thankful for them and bless them. Unlearning the negative thoughts that play over and over in our mind is the way that we molt. Molting, in human terms, is letting go of the past. Being alone and turning within to discover our blocks, barriers, fears and addictions is essential for us. Like the caterpillar releasing its enzymes, we too need to release all fear.

So how do we do this? It’s done through surrender. Surrendering to a higher power begins the shift in our perception. It is not about giving up; rather it is about turning over and letting go. In this process, we are actually saying, “I no longer fear. I TRUST.”

Forgiveness is the channel for us to access the power that dissolves pain. Forgiveness is our soupy mixture. This decision allows up to let go and allow the power within to transform our lives. What is this power? The power is love which radiates through all creation including each one of us. We are all energetically connected through this power, it is our natural state. It is when we become aware of this concept that we are ready to awaken and emerge from our chrysalis like the beautiful butterfly.

Changing our perception is the shift required to change our lives. When we make this shift, our relationships are no longer filled with drama. Work becomes pleasurable. We feel better and are more energetic. We feel passionate about creating. Sharing our money and our time through volunteering fills our hearts with joy. Our new found energy attracts new opportunities. Life is not as fast-paced because the chaos in our lives vanishes.

The conscious awareness of the power of love, which in connected through all life, is the miracle to transform your life to one of inner peace.

Now, is this the life you want?

Written by Doreen Lofaro. Doreen is a Contributing Writer and Guest Blogger for The Possibility Coaches. Doreen’s articles inspire readers from all over the world to create a life filled with inspiration, inner peace and self-empowerment. She has been a student of the Possibility Coaches since 2007. Doreen is a Creative Writer and Spiritual Coach currently residing in Bucks County, Pennsylvania. She can be contacted at dmlofaro@gmail.com

transform your life

Life and Relationships

Finding The Authentic You!

April 3, 2014 PossCoach 4 Comments

Do you know what it feels like to be your authentic self? Let me ask it another way. Do you spend most of your life being the ‘real you’ or do you find yourself wearing masks, pretending to be something that you’re not, trying to be something for someone else? Do you spend your life acting in ways that contradict what you feel in your heart and soul? I’ve come to learn that in order to be truly happy, I mean truly, truly happy, it is essential that we become authentic. Let me rephrase that, it’s essential that we live as our authentic selves.

Being The Authentic You! — Being Authentic

Looking back at my own life, I can’t remember a time until the most recent past when I could actually feel comfortable being myself. I wondered why that was. Why couldn’t I feel comfortable being myself?

I realized that at a very early age, like most people, I was convinced, that I had to be a certain way, act a certain way, even look a certain way to be accepted by the people in my life and by the world at large.

And there are a lot of people who confirmed that, telling me how to speak, what I had to do, what I had to know and who I had to become to be accepted into this world. To all that conditioning, the real me, which was always in me and always will be me, was buried deep in the recesses of my mind and my heart. It is my soul; it is your soul.

The great thing about our souls is that they’re changeless and eternal, and no one or no thing, no experience, no situation, even traumatic situations and experiences can alter the changelessness and the eternalness of the souls that you and I share. That’s some pretty awesome news. If you’ve been unable, for way too long to be your real self, to be authentic, know that there is a part of you, that is authentic and that is real. And that’s the part, the part of each of us, that is meant to shine, that is the part of each of us that I call our genius. It is that part of us that is eternally connected to the Universe and to all Life, whatever form it takes.

From personal experience, as I begin to let go of my conditioning, which includes my beliefs, emotions and feelings that are attached to the sixty thousand thoughts that I have every day (most of which were negative in content), I realize that, if I’m able to let go of those emotions and feelings, and feel them and be with them, and release them and not resist them, I know that underneath it all, the peeling away, the shedding of the onion, all that’s left is the true, real, authentic me.

And most people resist being real. They’ll even say “I can’t be real.” The truth is, we all can be real. The challenge that we face is we won’t ‘be real’ because we’re afraid of what the world will see.

The truth is, the reality of who we are is not the reality of who we think we are.

The reality of who you are and who I am is that we are children of the Universe. Our unique nature is unconditional love, goodness, generosity and overall well-being. But all that seems so foreign to so many of us, foreign to too many of us. Therein lies the journey home. It’s going from who you think you are to who you really are. Despite what you may think in this moment or despite what anyone has told you in the past or continues to tell you, in this and every moment you are magnificent.

Boy, that’s hard to get sometimes, isn’t it? And sometimes circumstances, events and experiences and the way we behave confirm the contrary. Sometimes there’s a hideousness, an ugliness, a darkness that comes out of all of us. Know that it’s okay to come from that place. It’s been called the shadow side. The shadow in all of us has so many benefits. I believe the shadow is a gift. It is part of the agreement we make with ourselves and our souls as we incarnate as humans in this lifetime and every other lifetime that we incarnate, as a way of evolving, as a way of becoming enlightened, and as a way to raise the consciousness of this planet, so we can not only survive, so we can thrive.

Realizing this, I feel there is nothing more important than you uncover who you really are: your authentic self. All that’s required is your willingness. If you say you can’t, remember it means you really won’t. You won’t because you’re being controlled within your mind by fears that tell you not to expose who you truly are, because that person is not worthy of being happy, of thriving, of evolving and growing and living life enthusiastically, inspired by all the beauty that the life…the one life has to offer all of us. Do not deny your part in this one life, you are a piece of it, and your peace is it.

Imagine a part of you and a part of me that lives in peace and harmony, undisturbed by the physical third dimensional world. Many times I talk with clients about what I call the fourth dimension. It’s not some far off dimension, actually it follows you wherever you go. Imagine there is another you, walking along side of you, day in and day out, from the moment you were born to the moment you leave your body. It walks along side of you, through the good and the bad. Interestingly though, no matter what you call good or what you call bad, that parallel person is always at peace, is always loving you and everyone and everything unconditionally and knows you and everyone and everything are eternal. That is the place from which we all aspire to live, that is the place of authenticity, the place of the true, one reality. Most of the world is dreaming, most of the world is asleep, most of the world doesn’t have the slightest inclination or idea that with one decision we can change and awaken to our magnificence.

My hope for you is that you awaken to your magnificence!

It is a process and an undertaking. Simple to do, not always easy. From my experience, it creates a lot of bumps and a lot of hurdles. But, as I look back I bless every bump and every hurdle and even some potholes, ditches and sinkholes that I have fallen into. But with all of that, the sun still shines on my face, no matter what. Look for who you really are, look for your authenticity. Let the sun shine on your face, feel it’s warmth, feel it’s love, let it absorb into you and realize the same warmth and the same love are in you. Let it come out, and when you say “I can’t” realize it’s just that you won’t and that you’re afraid. Question those fears and realize most of them are unfounded and come from habitual negative thinking, belief systems and conditioning. You are always one with me and with everyone else. Know that and you will find peace, be that and you will change the world.

We would love to hear your comments. Tell us what it means to you to be authentic. Please leave your comments below.

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Business and Success, Life and Relationships

Goals Made Easy

March 11, 2013 PossCoach 1 Comment

Goals. Having them and getting them. We are all so conditioned to believe that having goals and getting them are essentials to our happiness and success.

For nearly 40 years, I had this belief. Over the last ten years however, I have learned that having goals and goal setting are not necessarily prerequisites for happiness or success. In fact, I have come to the conclusion that for most people the idea of having a long list of goals and achieving them is a prescription for disaster. This prescription is laced with anxiety, worry, chaos, procrastination and stress. And the end result is one that is lackluster, filled with disappointment, discouragement and despondency.

From personal experience, I have also learned that in order to achieve the results that we each want for our life, we first and foremost do absolutely nothing. Yes, you read correctly! Here’s why…

Have you ever written down a list of goals you wanted to achieve? I have and I must say it was usually a complete waste of time and emotional energy. Why? Because at the time when I wrote them, I did not feel worthy of receiving these goals, nor did I believe that I could realistically achieve them. In other words, when we set goals that are not in alignment with our personal belief systems, the likelihood of getting the results we want is relatively low at best.

Obtaining the results we want, are much more readily achieved when our mindset is in alignment with those goals. This requires creating a new belief system. One that projects to the world a sense of worthiness, wholeness and self-respect.

For example, feeling happy and successful is far more beneficial than setting goals. Especially if we are convinced that these goals will make us happier and more successful. You see, most of us live life backwards. I call it the ‘I’ll be happy and successful when’ Syndrome.

This leads to another reason why setting goals is a waste of time: they psychologically put all of the ideal situations and experiences we desire in to the future. This mind-screwing game, beyond all aspects of goal-setting, is what sets most people up for letdowns, rather than receiving the results they want. Happiness and success, as a result of this approach, are always some future destination.

Now, here’s a ‘kicker’ about goals, goal-setting and goal-getting that will make it easier for you to achieve exactly the results in your life that are the ‘best fit’ for you. It is what I call ‘goals made easy.’

‘Goals Made Easy’ is a different kind of prescription for experiencing the perfect results, for the perfect life, for the perfect person that is you.

It is not giving up the idea of goals. It is about using goals in your life from a very different perspective. It is about no longer looking at goals as an ‘end’ resulting from working hard, so we can ‘make it happen’ and be happy and successful.

What I am suggesting is that you still have goals. Only two goals specifically and using them as means, not as end results.

These two goals, to be effective, require you to give up all other goals. If you are an avid goal-setter this can be challenging and even a bit scary. In addition, these two goals can only be 100% effective if you consciously believe that the first goal is all you want to have for yourself and the second goal is what you are willing to give to the world.

The two goals that I am referring to are (1) the goal to experience inner peace and (2) the goal to be of service to the world in some shape or form with the intention to provide that service for the highest good of all concerned (and that includes you).

I guarantee that if you are open and willing to adopt these two goals; not as end results, but as means to only positive results, you automatically and spontaneously will be happy and successful.

I have found that in Life, when I am at peace and when I put service to others above all self-motivations, I receive exactly what I need so I can enjoy my life experience to its fullest.

Stop wasting time and energy setting goals that are outside of you. Understand, there is nothing wrong with ‘things.’ Money, homes, cars, clothes are neutral. Yes, I know, we need our basic needs met! However, when we place value on them as necessities for our happiness and success, we inevitably set ourselves up for misery and disappointment. Have you ever been on a hamster wheel. Do you get the picture?

Interestingly enough, I have found that truly happy and successful people are those individuals who live life from a place of inner peace and who put service to others first. They always seem to be living the life that is best suited for them. A life that meets all their wants and desires and is in alignment with who they truly are. ‘Goals Made Easy’ is created by only having two goals in every moment of every day.

Remember this: the most powerful possession you will always have is your peace! To achieve inner peace you must be willing to let go of all external goals other than being of service to the world. Your results may astound you when you live life with two goals in mind. How much easier can it get?

Do you want to create more balance in your life and learn how to master your mindset? Have more inner peace and discover your greater purpose? You can do it and you don’t need goals!

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Success and Transformational Coaches